Gnomesworth

I have heard strange noise whenever I fell asleep. They range from beeps and bangs to musical tones playing all night long. Now, normally I am a solid sleeper. Nothing can wake me not even my wife when she calls me for breakfast but one night it was different, so different that I will never forget it!

I was lying in bed under my favorite Cleveland Browns blanket. My wife was next to me wrapped up in her black and yellow Pittsburgh Steelers blanket. The room was dark except for the light coming from the bathroom.

I was lying there for about an hour when the music started. It was kind of fun music like you heard in the 1970’s. I didn’t know what the tune was but it was so good that I couldn’t help tapping my feet to it.  It was strange but suddenly I heard feet, little feet tapping to the music the same as I was. They were keeping a good rhythm and that made my feet move even more. The thing is, whoever it was could not only dance but they could talk.

“It has been a while since we have been here,” one of them said. “We used to very well here. King Leonard will be proud when we show him what we found tonight.”

“I heard the female talking earlier,” another one said. “I think she was saying that she bought some new ones today.”

The king will be proud,” the first one said. “I think that his highness is getting tired of getting those smelly ones we usually give him. Remember when we took Shaquille O’Neal’s, the poor king couldn’t breathe for a week. We have to find the new ones…at least four of them.”

I was still in bed listening to all of this. Four of what I wondered. I decided that I had to look. I had to find out who or better yet what they were. I slowly crawled to the end of the bed keeping as quiet as I could. I looked through the darkness and saw four tiny little men climbing up the front of my dresser. I watched them as they went about climbing and opening the bottom drawer.

“Is this it,” the first one asked.

“I don’t think so,” the second one replied. “It is full of the female’s underwear.” He looked down and smiled. “It smells like flowers.”

“I don’t care what they smell like…we don’t need those,” the first said. “What drawer were they in the last time we were here?”

“That one,” one of the others said as he pointed at the second drawer on the other side of the dresser.

I started to sit up. It was kind of fun to watch these little people scamper around. I watched them climb down from the open drawer they were checking out. Rather than all of the climbing to the other drawer one of them climbed up, opened to drawer and climbed. It was then that I heard the sweetest little giggle I had ever heard. Then all four of them climbed up and into the drawer. I thought a minute as I heard a few more giggles…what was in that drawer? Then I realized that my socks were in there and yes, my wife did buy me new ones today.

I stood up, still remaining totally quiet. I walked over to the dresser and I saw the four people sorting my socks. I guessed they were looking for the new ones. “They are right here,” I said I as pointed to a small pile of socks. Immediately they all froze. “You do not have to be afraid,” I said as I handed then one of the socks.

“Our king will be grateful Milord,” the first one said. I asked them who they were. “We are part of a kingdom called Gnomesworth. It is a small land in the garden right behind the round red plants.”

“You mean the tomatoes,” I asked.

“If that is what you call them Milord. Then our land is behind the tomatoes.” I asked them why they needed my socks. “They are sent to our king. He takes them and spins them into gold so that we may buy things in the market.”

I watched as they took four of my new socks and scampered into a crack in the baseboard. I never saw them again but when my wife buys me socks I always have her buy an extra pair which I leave laying out by that crack. I figured that would save them the effort of having to climb and search the dresser.

One night I left an extra pair of socks near that crack. In the morning the socks were gone and in their place was a pile of gold. I guess that was a thank you for the socks and I never got to say “you’re welcome.”