Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The German/English Glitch


I've had the same little laptop for more that six years now. Everyone jokes with me about it being a “dinosaur”. Well, maybe it is but it has traveled all around the world with me. It has helped me study and learn other languages, helped me talk to my family at home and it even has every one of my travel pictures stored in a Zip file hidden deep on the hard drive...which is the only upgrade I have lovingly made on the machine. After all a five hundred megabyte drive isn't much use now-a-days. Basically, it has been my companion and friend for the last six years.
It was back in 2006. I had spent a year traveling around Europe when I met a young fraulein named Edith in a small town south of Munich. It was love at first sight so I took a job with an English language newspaper in Munich. Now, German wasn't a language that I was strong in. I knew enough to get along and maybe get my face slapped but that was about all so I picked up a CD Rom that taught the German language in about a month. Needless to say it did work and I went out feeling secure that I could do interviews with Germans in their own language.
The thing was about that program you had to install set of files on the computer and they remained there even after you were done using the program.
My first article was with a brewer down on Oberunger by the Marrianplatz. Actually, the interview went very well. My German was strong and, since he couldn't speak English I did the entire interview in German...including writing his responses not in English but in German.
The brewer told me about his beers, his awards and lastly his new oatmeal/rye beer that would, as he said, “would sweep every competition in Germany, in Europe as well as in America.” Then he took me on a tour and we spent a couple hours drinking beer and talking about beer. It was fun but I had to get the article done so I excused myself and went back home to write.
The article had to be 2,000 words and I had to have it done by 4:30 so I kissed Edith, grabbed a sandwich and locked myself in my office, which doubled as our bedroom but it worked well in either situation. It didn't take long...about an hour...but I got it done and emailed off to my boss I had it done at 2:30 so I went down and watched some TV with Edith.
A few minutes later I heard an alarm going off on the computer. I rushed in and saw that there was an email from my boss. I opened it and it just had two sentences. It said, “Are you being funny sending me your article in German? Rewrite and send in English od don't expect to write any anymore for us!
I quickly got to my emails and opened the one I sent to my boos. I opened the file and saw that it was written as I had written it. It was there and it was in German. “What in the hell,” I said. Then I opened the file that I had saved on my desktop and it too was written in German. “I know I wrote this in English,” I yelled.
Then I decided to perform a test. I wrote a small sentence into my word processor. It read, “The dog ran across the grass.” Then I saved it to my computer. Okay, I thought, that should work. But when I opened the file I saw that it read...”Der Hund lief über den Rasen.” That was strange and there was no explanation as to why it would re-write itself.
I spent the rest of the day and all of the night trying to figure out what was going on. I called some computer expert friends of mine and they couldn't offer any help. Finally, a teenager from next door, who had heard me yelling, came over and he told me that the German language program I had used put a translation program into my computer so that anything I wrote would automatically be rewritten into German. Then he came up with an idea that, for all the pain of this glitch, it could be fixed rather easily.
He and I went down to a computer store and looked around until we found what we wanted...an English language program from the same publisher. We thought that if it worked one way it just may work in the opposite way once it was installed.
I got home, installed the program and rewrote the article, in German this time. I didn't wait. I just emailed it right off to the newspaper. A minute later I got this email, “Even though you are late, thank you for rewriting the article. At least now I can read it. Will send your next assignment tomorrow.”
The thing is, for it being a pain in the butt glitch, it worked rather well. If I was writing to a German I would type the letter in English and mail it off and the same if I am writing to a person who speaks English. The message would be written in German and received in English.
All I can say is that if programmers keep making glitches it make make communicating between countries a lot easier.  

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